


White noise in my mind

by screamtobeheard



Category: Half Life Trilogy - Sally Green
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Idk i just wanted a fic where gabriel is a sweetheart, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 02:36:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5273318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamtobeheard/pseuds/screamtobeheard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s true though. You’re always so nice to me,” I say with a shrug.<br/>“And what? You don’t deserve it? Because that’s not true, Nathan,” he says firmly. <br/>“You deserve way more than you think,” Gabriel says. </p><p>or where Gabriel is an angel and takes care of Nathan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White noise in my mind

“Nathan.” He says my name with relief. I can hear him sit down next to me on the dirty ground. I’m not sure how long I’ve been in the woods. I don’t know what I’ve been doing here to be completely honest. My breathing is still heavy and I stare at the trees in front of me.  
“Nathan,” Gabriel breathes again. He reaches out and takes my cold hands in his and holds them. He squeezes them to get my attention. I finally look at him and he gives me a relieved smile.

“What are you doing here?” he asks gently. What am I doing here, really?  
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, my voice coming out hoarse like I haven’t talked in days. Maybe I haven’t. Gabriel rubs his thumb over the back of my hand.  
“Come on, we’ll go home,” he suggests. I let myself be pulled to my feet. Gabriel doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk.

“You want some tea?” I keep staring at my feet. I feel numb. Have been feeling like that for days, weeks now. Maybe it will stay like this forever. At least I won’t be able to feel sad.  
“Nathan?” Gabriel says and I snap out of my thoughts.  
“Yeah. Tea,” I confirm. Gabriel smiles satisfied and nods.   
“When’s the last time you’ve eaten? I can make you something,” Gabriel carries on.   
I glare at him and snort.

“I’m not a baby, Gabriel. I can make food for myself,” I argue.   
“Seconds ago you looked a little out of it,” he shoots back.   
“I’m fine.” I walk past him in the kitchen and take a bite of the first apple I see and give him a look. He sighs but smiles at me.   
“Of course you’re fine. How dare I worry about you?” he grins.   
“Exactly.”

He hands me my tea silently. We sit on the ground inside. Gabriel drinking his coffee, and I’m drinking my tea. We sit in silence for a while, our legs touching. Gabriel is warm next to me and I feel a little less numb. Maybe he’ll make me feel again. Al though I’m not sure if I want that again.  
“Hey,” he says quietly and runs a hand through my hair gently.  
“You’re awfully quiet. A bad quiet,” he adds. I shrug and lean into his touch.   
“Everything is just fucked, is all,” I say dryly. He doesn’t say anything but pulls me against him. I let him and bury my face into his neck. He strokes my hair gently murmuring something that sounds like ‘you’re okay’. 

“You’re way too nice to me,” I voice my thoughts. Gabriel seems to be taken aback.   
“No I’m not, why’d you say that?” he says and he tilts my chin up so I’m forced to look at him. I just want to lay my head on his shoulder again.  
“It’s true though. You’re always so nice to me,” I say with a shrug.  
“And what? You don’t deserve it? Because that’s not true, Nathan,” he says firmly. I don’t react but stare into the distance again.  
“You deserve way more than you think,” Gabriel says. I look at him again, to see him staring at me with a sincere expression.

“What do I deserve then?” I ask him. I catch him staring at my face and I let my gaze drop to his lips for just a second. He must have noticed because he scans my face and brings his face closer to mine.  
“Whatever you want, Nathan,” he breathes against my face. So close we could touch, but not quite closing the distance.   
“Anything?” I ask, not even bothering looking at his eyes anymore. I feel his hand on my cheek. Carefully touching me like he’s afraid I might pull away. Who can blame him. 

“Anything,” he replies. He hold my face a little firmer and I feel myself leaning in.   
“Nathan,” he whispers against my lips. I kiss him. He kisses me back immediately. He holds my face in both hands. I grab his shirt as if it is the only thing keeping me grounded. His hand moves to my lower back and he pulls me closer to him so that I’m almost hovering over him.  
“Gabriel,” I gasp when I pull away for air. He strokes my hair and rolls us over. I’m lying on my back with him on top of me.

“You deserve everything in this world. You’re so important, Nathan,” he says before kissing me again. And I feel everything. I feel his heartbeat, his lips against mine, the hand on my face. But mostly I feel something again. And I take back thinking feeling nothing would be better. I pull my face away to press a few kisses on his neck. He sighs contently and I wrap my arms around him. We lay there for a long time. Just holding each other.  
-  
When I wake up and come inside Gabriel’s already awake and in the kitchen. He made himself coffee. I look at him for a moment, not sure how to be around him after yesterday.  
“Hey,” I say softly. He turns around and smiles at me. I love seeing him smile.   
“I made you tea,” he says and hands me the mug.  
“Is this going to be a thing now?” I tease. Gabriel smiles and shrugs.  
“Might be, might not be. I like taking care of you though,” he says.  
“That’s such a Gabriel thing to say.” He hums with a smile but doesn’t say anything else.

After a moment he reaches out and grabs my shirt, pulling me closer with it.  
I let myself be pulled against his chest and lean into him. He puts his arm around me.  
I feel like I should say something. Something about this new development since we kissed again. But I can’t find words to say something. So I stay quiet.  
“I like holding you,” Gabriel says finally.   
“Me too,” I manage to say. Gabriel smiles widely.  
-  
When I find myself back in the woods again, my hands are covered in blood, probably the rest of my body too but I don’t want to check. Gabriel finds me again. He always does. He’s brought his coat with him too.  
“Thought you might be cold,” he says with a small smile and puts it around my body.  
“Not that I don’t like seeing you naked,” he adds with a smirk. I blush and push him. He laughs brightly and maybe this is what feeling alive again feels like. I never want him to stop laughing like that.  
“You need some help?” he askes me when I open the bathroom door. I smile at him.  
“Think I’ll manage.”  
“Too bad,” he teases. I have trouble making the grin on my face leave. 

And just like that, everything is better. He makes everything better.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I just NEEDED fanfiction so I wrote it myself. The idea of Nathan finally having someone who's taking care of him just does things to my heart. Hope you liked it. 
> 
> my tumblr: softandpersistent.tumblr.com


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